MOGHA – 18

My Old Gong Has Amnesia

Chapter 18

Translator: Keisotsuna

Ye Shanshan looked at the screen and immediately determined which scene it was according to his memory. At once, one hundred thousand alpaca whistled past the grassland inside his heart. Ye Shanshan only thought that Gong Yue must not watch this show. I’m begging you, please never watch this!

^{* alpaca : 草泥马 [cǎo ní mǎ] – Literally grass mud horses or alpacas, though in this context, it is an internet slang used as a euphemism to say “fuck your mother” (肏你媽) [cào nǐ mā] because of their similar-sounding pinyin. The expression one hundred thousand grass mud horses whistling past inside his heart is basically equivalent to saying or cursing countless “fuck” or other similar swear words internally.}

The video had a little hazy image quality, and the one who must have taken it had recorded casually, but basically it was still clear and the program team even gave it a cheerful background music. In the scene, Ye Shanshan wore a white T-shirt and was chasing after a little squirrel. As he ran, he even cheerfully shout out, “Don’t run so fast, wait for me!” When he had ran around the field for about two to three laps, the squirrel suddenly barked to a halt and turned around to face Ye Shanshan.

Perhaps it was because of the look in the squirrel’s eyes that Ye Shanshan also followed to a stop and stared. And so, one squirrel’s big eyes and his small eyes met. Just when the audience thought that the video would end here, the squirrel suddenly jumped twice and then rushed towards Ye Shanshan like a mythical goblin spirit.

^{* mythical goblin spirit : This actually has many possible meanings but I chose ‘goblin spirit’ because this character (精) also makes up the word for “spirit/demon”, and in Chinese a ‘demon’ typically refers to a refined plant or animal with human-like intelligence and mystical powers. Aside from this, the character 精 can also mean energy, spirit, vitality, essence, refined or elite.}

“Ah——” Ye Shanshan screamed, obviously frightened. He immediately turned around and ran away. He moved very quickly and left afterimage in his wake. While running, he did not forget to yell, “Your Majesty, save me, save me, save me, ahhh!!!”

The situation was reversed in an instant. The little squirrel was the one who was chasing after him from behind, while Ye Shanshan was running for it from ahead. He ran around the field for ten laps straight. Clouds of dust rose in the air and the battle was fierce.

The person who filmed the video was obviously laughing hard, so the image was shaking. However, Ye Shanshan’s highly recognizable voice remained very clear through the studio’s sound system.

After the screen went black and the lighting on the stage were turned on, Ye Shanshan felt that he couldn’t have been more ashamed. How could he face the eyes of the masses again? So he silently covered his face and turned around, prepared to pretend that he didn’t exist.

But everyone clearly didn’t plan to let him off and the entire audience shouted in unison, “Landlord—— landlord——”

Ye Shanshan found it embarrassing to be called out. He turned on the microphone and said, “The landlord isn’t here, it’s useless even if you scream your throats out.” The audience laughed.

The male host walked over with his microphone, looking like he hard a hard time holding back his laughter. “Landlord, can we interview you about that time you chased the little squirrel first but then you got chased by the little squirrel and ran away?” He deliberately emphasized the word “small”.

Ye Shanshan kept his back to the audience and resolutely refused to give in, “I refuse to answer this question.” His tone was very aloof and cold, but this only lasted for two seconds and he couldn’t help but tilt his head and asked, “Director, can you tell me who shot this video? I think it’s very necessary for me to discuss about life with him.”

^{[3] to discuss life with someone : From my own understanding, this is a lighthearted manner of saying that you want to enlighten, scold or preach someone, especially after this someone had wronged you in some way.}

Director Ning threw out his hands and said, “It’s not me. It’s Yan Ke.”

Film Emperor Yan was called out and he nodded with a broad smile on his face, “Well, at that time, I thought that this kind of scene is very precious and worth preserving, so I filmed it casually. Anyway, what do you want to discuss with me?”

Ye Shanshan looked at the director and then at Yan Ke. With one hand covering his chest, he was silent for a long time before he said out two words, “thank you”. The audience once again roared with laughter.

Because of this tidbit, the program had yet finish the broadcast but the forums were already filled with high-rise buildings and the topic “the landlord was chased by a squirrel” quickly made it into the hot search.

^{* high-rise buildings : A very interesting fact about Chinese forums, a “building” refers to a microblog post (including discussion and comments) in a forum, “high-rise” means that there are many comments and discussions on that post and the first comment is called the “first floor”, the second commenter is the “second floor” and so on and so fort, while the one who posted (original poster) is called the “landlord”.}

“I’ve watched this video more than 20 times. I’m really going to die of laughter! I have a confession to the landlord, the landlord is really gorgeous!”

“I’m obsessed with the rivalry between the landlord and the little squirrel. Besides, the landlord’s facial expressions are really cute and good-looking!”

“What about the sunspots before? Those who keep talking about PS, special effects, and makeup should come and see this scene. The landlord will teach you what is natural beauty.”

* sunspots : 黑子 – Refers to haters, anti-fans, and generally people who likes to scold others in the internet.
* PS : shortened for Photoshop

“The one upstairs, don’t be so angry. Come and watch the squirrel chasing battle and be happy!”

“Am I the only one who’s curious about who’s the ‘Your Majesty’? Isn’t the ‘Legend of the Swordsman’ a martial arts film?”

After Ye Shanshan finished the program, he felt physically and mentally exhausted. He was disappointed with human nature. While sitting in the car and heading home, he held his mobile phone and brush through the comments absentmindedly. He kept picking at the cushion with his fingers. After a little contemplation, he couldn’t help asking Lin Xiatian. “Xiatian, do you think Gong Yue will watch entertainment programs?” His tone was a little timid.

Lin Xiatian sat on the co-pilot seat and turned his head to talk with him, “I don’t think it’s possible for the master to watch entertainment programs.”

Ye Shanshan’s eyes brightened. “Really? I think so too. It goes against Gong Yue’s usual conduct!”

“ But,” Lin Xiatian ominously continued, “I think he will definitely watch any program as long as you’re in it. Even if you’re just cooking, the master will not miss watching even a second.”

^{* ominously : I paraphrased this from 高能预警 in the raws, which means “high-energy warning”, because the line “Lin Xiatian issued a high-energy warning and said…” just sounds awkward to me. 😅 Anyways, it’s an internet slang used to imply that something [bad] is going to happen soon, usually in a humorous way. By the way, the “but” in this paragraph was written as English in the raws, which is why it’s in italic.}

At an instant, Ye Shanshan directly shrank in the backseat like a Chinese cabbage. “What should I do? Should I try to feel him out?” If he didn’t, he’d really feel anxious to death. With his heart in chaos, Ye Shanshan took out his mobile phone and dialed Gong Yue’s number.

“Are you busy?” Even his tone was very prudent, it was completely different from his lively manner in normal times.

“En, what’s wrong?”

Ye Shanshan turned a lot of questions in his mind, and finally decided to be simple and direct, “Did you watch the program today?”

“En, I did.”

Ye Shan was holding the mobile phone and his whole person was frozen. He wanted to hang up the call directly but didn’t dare to — he was the one who personally initiated the call and now he had to finish this call on his knees. “Then, what do you think?” He really didn’t want to admit that he was the one who was on the show a while ago. He must’ve looked stupid— — he needed a little handkerchief to cry on.

On the other side, there was a rare hesitation for a few seconds before Gong Yue’s voice came over. “You were very cute.”

Ye Shanshan still had a grin as he nestled on the backseat, giggling all the way until the car reached the private highway. His laughter was particularly magical. Finally, Lin Xiatian couldn’t stand it anymore, “Ye shao, what did the master tell you to make you to make you laugh for so long?”

^{* magical : 魔性 – Literally demon/magic + character/nature. It is a neologism which means being irresistibly quirky or compelling in its wackiness. In an analogy, just imagine someone you know with that really iconic laughter which is both really funny yet endearing at the same time.}

“He praised me for being cute!”

Lin Xiatian didn’t expect that. “Just because of this?” Didn’t the master praised Ye shao’s cuteness in the past? It is not the first time.

“Tell me,” Ye Shanshan propped up his chin with his hand, his voice was filled with excitement. “Say, he praised me for being cute. Then, if I applied for a half a month of summer vacation, will the probability of success exceed 50%? Or maybe, even 60%?” After thinking about it this way, having felt that his summer vacation was already in sight, Ye Shanshan giggled again.

“.…..” Lin Xiatian didn’t have the heart to break Ye Shanshan’s beautiful fantasy. Because it was totally impossible. However, looking at Ye Shanshan smiling like a flower, he felt that this kind of thing should be personally handled by the master himself.

–

At twelve o’clock in the evening, it’s estimated that Gong Yue should be preparing for lunch. Ye Shanshan was lying on the bed in the master bedroom while on a video call with Gong Yue. He twisted around in the dark happily, thinking that he had covered it up well. But in reality, he couldn’t hold back the smile on his face and it was obvious that something had happened at first sight.

^{T/N: There is about 12 hours of time difference between China and New York. 12 AM in China, would be around 11 AM in New York. (Feel free to correct me if I got it wrong though :3)}

“What are you so happy about?” As soon as Gong Yue connected to the video call, he saw Ye Shanshan’s silly expression. In an instant, the depression that had accumulated in his heart disappeared.

Ye Shanshan touched his face and feigned, “Ah? I’m not happy about anything, ah!”

Seeing that he didn’t want to admit it, Gong Yue didn’t continue to ask but changed the topic instead, “Did your day went well?”

“It went well, ah. It feels very interesting to record a program. The audience seems to like me very much, and they’re always laughing at me.” As a result, he also laughed back.

“En, what makes you so happy then?”

Unsuspecting, Ye Shanshan was caught by Gong Yue’s routine and blurted out, “Because you’ll let me have a summer vacation!” After saying that, Ye Shanshan immediately covered his mouth with a pillow and looked at Gong Yue on the other side of the video call with indignation. His eyes were full of accusations —— I didn’t expect you to be this kind of Gong Yue!

^{* I didn’t expect you be this kind of XX : An expression used to, well, express indignation or disbelief towards someone who did something unexpected or disappointing. In this case, Shanshan never expected Gong Yue to ask him this question after the previous one, successfully tricking him to answering it while his guard was down.}

On the other end, Gong Yue recalled, “Wasn’t the summer vacation just over?”

Although he was very satisfied, the three-days summer vacation was too short…… However, Ye Shanshan didn’t dare to say it at all. He had a bitter look and said, “En.” One syllable contains so many grievances.

Gong Yue looked at his miserable expression, then thought about it according to Ye Shanshan’s line of thinking and finally understood. “You want me to reward you and give you a few more days off?”

Ye Shanshan hugged the pillow as his thoughts were seen through. Although he still didn’t dare to look at Gong Yue, he was very happy. “Yes, yes, yes, that’s it!” So quickly say you approve ah, quickly say you’ll give a half a month vacation ah, one month will also do too!

“Oh.” Ye Shanshan didn’t know if it was because he was nervous, but Gong Yue seemed to be smiling? But then, he heard Gong Yue said, “Not allowed.”

Finding that Ye Shanshan wilted in the bed in a flash, Gong Yue pressed down the rising corners of his mouth and added, “However, if you finish all the papers in the second folder inside my study within three days with a 99% accuracy rate, then I’ll let you to come here to New York to have fun for two weeks.”

Ye Shanshan was elated by the sudden surprise. Afterwards, he leaned over from the bed and laughed foolishly at Gong Yue. He used his hands to form a heart and the final intonation of his words were very sticky, “Ge, you really are the best!”

After closing the video, Ye Shanshan rolled around the bed. Then, feeling that these simple actions couldn’t express his inner joy and excitement, Ye Shanshan went out of bed and crept out of the door. First, he sent a kiss to the man hanging in the sky. And then, he started running along the path.

The steward looked at the surveillance monitor and saw Ye Shanshan with a sweaty face and running in circles. He pulled the playback and found that he had already ran around the ring road twice.

However, while he’s running, he would also be singing, then after running for a few hundred meters he would turn twice, and who knows what was going on in his mind, but he would suddenly jump two times and so on, and his running wasn’t really serious.

He was very worried. Did Ye shao unlock some peculiar new hobby so he started running in the middle of the night? After much deliberation, the steward contacted Gong Yue and explained the matter.

Gong Yue was having lunch consisting of chicken Parmesan and vegetable salad when he received a video from the steward. He watched the person who was running restlessly and a smile pervade in his eyes. “Let him run. When he is tired, he’ll go back to sleep.”

There were still three days to go.

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The author has something to say:

Happy Children’s Day! I hope you will always be little fairies! ❤

Unfinished version of small theater:

Fancy running Shanshan: Happy holiday, great demon king!

Gong ge: ——

< Couldn’t think of a good reply for Gong Yue. En, just make it up with your brain. Love you～ >

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Translator’s Note:

UPDATE: Changed the translation from “grass mad horses” in the first paragraph to “alpaca”.

Lin Xiatian: Why are you laughing so foolishly?

Shanshan: He praised me for being cute!

(Me: Omg, is this the part where he finally gets his love enlightenment?)

Shanshan: Say, do you think this means I have more chances of getting a summer vacation?

(Me: …as expected, our brainwaves are too different.)

Honestly, Ye Shanshan is too adorable! I just wished I can pull him out of the two-dimensional world just so I can squeeze his cheeks!!

Also, I just wanna share, but every time I read Chinese entertainment circle novels, there will always be this part when fans say that they’ll “run a few laps” after being ecstatic over something their idols do. I never really knew if it was just an expression or these netizens really have some sort of cultural thing where they run whenever they’re too happy or something. If it’s the latter, then I’m happy for those people. If I have such a habit, I won’t ever think about having to exercise daily (I always procrastinate this) since reading novels every day will keep me running several laps in joy and happiness. Hah.

Here’s another glimpse at Gong Yue’s Ye Shanshan-recommended chicken Parmesan and vegetable salad:

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I hope you enjoyed reading this, me me da~

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